At the beginning of our relationship with F, I was unconsciously looking for signs to find out how much he cared about me. My mistake was to interpret every little gestures while it is wrong to believe that all of our actions always reflect our feelings. Indeed, it can be misleading as loving someone and showing our love are two different things. At a certain point I made the choice to trust him. A decision that makes you vulnerable but that also liberates you from any fear of being hurt as you decide to believe that your partner will not act in a way that will harm you. Our vulnerability is a strength. Building walls to protect ourselves from what could happen will only make us miss out on life. But taking the risk to trust will open many doors. This trust can also free us from the need to look for proofs. This trust can help us to avoid many troubles as not every single actions will be judged. I know now that if he forgets to wish me good luck for an important event it does not mean that he loves me less but simply that he forgot. I know that if he does not wake up one Saturday to prepare breakfast it does not mean that he stopped loving met but that he is simply tired. Now it might seem contradictory but I came to realize that the only way to trust someone is to accept the fact that nothing is reliable. As Dr. Rupert Spira explains in his video here our insecurities come from our intuition and innate knowledge that everything is insecure. Everything is insecure because everything changes. For this reason we should not invest our happiness and security in an object like our wealth, health or relationship. I decided to be in peace with this and to trust that he loves me and that he is taking care of me in the best way he can.