“Communication is the key!” How many times did we hear this? Event though it became a cliché and nobody wants to hear about it anymore, it is still truth. As simple as it looks like, communication being a two-way process of giving and receiving information becomes tricky when the sender and the receiver do not use the same code. It results in a lack of understanding as the message cannot come across correctly. This problem of communication happens reccurently in relationships for something as important as expressing your love.
I started doubting about F’s feelings after he still did not say the magic three words: “I love you” after we had been together for already several months. So I decided to simply ask him and was very surprised when he told me that he did love me. But the reason why he never said it, is because those words do not have any meaning for him and showing his love to me is much more meaningful to him that saying it.
I was finally able to identify his primary love language, to receive the message he had been sending me this whole time and most importantly feels his love. Now when he takes time to update my phone, helps me cancel a contract, sets up my curtains or lamp or cooks me some delicious nutella pancake, I know he is telling me “I love you.
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we communicate. For those of you unfamiliar with Gary Chapman’s work, there are five love languages. We all identify primarily with one of them: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
Find out what is your partner’s primarily language and you will understand each other much better. Take the test to discover your and your partner´s primarily love language.