If it feels like meeting each other halfway and being both half happy, making concessions, settling for less than what we desire, it cannot be healthy.
We have not worked on ourselves to build an identity, values and goals in order to enter into a relationship and have it all compromised in order to make it work with our partner.
What if there is another way?
I believe in loving each other in a way that makes our partner feels free.
What does it mean?
It means that we create this energy where we can feel free to do whatever we feel like, where we can pursue our goals and be true to ourselves.
Compromises and sacrifices are not demonstrations of love. They only lead to resentment and frustration. We need to feel like we have a choice. And as Xandria Oii explains it in her video, truly giving or doing something for the other becomes a deliberate and conscious choice that we make.
We create this energy of freedom, when we do not project any expectations on our partner, when we do not force them to do things. This energy comes from giving space to each other to be who we are but also from empowering and supporting each other in who we want to become. Jay Shetty explains it very well in his inspiring video.
When we are with someone we truly love, the happiness of our partner, as well as the health of our relationship also become important. As we are not in a selfish relationship, we do not consider only our own happiness anymore. And we make choices that makes us both happy.
F loves travelling and I want him to travel as much as he likes and whenever he feels like. Having this feeling of freedom, when he decides to stay here or wait for me to be able to join him on the next trip, it’s because he has made his own conscious choice about it.
On a daily basis and practically, there are also more than two options. It does not necessarily have to be my way or his way. There can be other options to explore that takes us out of our comfort zones and bring us both happiness.
Let your love be a source of growth and empowerment and not a cage.